Parents underestimate teen AI chatbot use, coach warns

A Pew survey found 64% of teens use AI chatbots, while only 51% of parents think their teen does. Parent coach Mike Barsamian says the bigger issue is why some teens turn to chatbots for emotional support instead of people.

Why it matters: - Teens are using AI chatbots far more than many parents realize. - The risk is not just homework help. A smaller but important share of teens are using chatbots for emotional support or serious personal conversations. - Barsamian argues parents need to understand the behavior, not just the technology, because secrecy can signal a deeper breakdown in family communication.

What happened: - Pew Research Center surveyed 1,458 American teens ages 13 to 17 and their parents in fall 2025 and published the results in February 2026. - 64% of teens said they use AI chatbots. - 51% of parents believed their teen uses AI chatbots. - 12% of teens said they had used a chatbot for emotional support or advice. - 58% of parents said they were not comfortable with their teen doing that. - Common Sense Media surveyed 1,060 U.S. teens in 2025 and found 72% had used an AI companion, defined as an app built for ongoing, relationship-style conversation. - About one in three AI companion users said they had chosen to discuss something important or serious with the app instead of a real person.

The details: - Barsamian said the key number is the one in three teens who brought something serious to a machine instead of a person. - He said the important question is what made the chatbot feel safer than a parent. - Barsamian said taking away a phone usually misses the real problem. - He said teens who feel safe bringing problems home have less reason to look elsewhere. - He said teens who do not feel safe will find another outlet, with or without an app. - Barsamian said many parents using this pattern are not neglectful. He described them as capable and hardworking. - He said teens often stop sharing quietly, and parents notice only after the pattern is already established. - He said chatbots can feel attractive because they do not get disappointed, bring up the past, or need reassurance. - Barsamian said the repair starts with listening to a teen through disagreement without immediately trying to solve the problem. - He advised parents to ask directly what their teen uses AI for, without attaching consequences. - He said an honest answer reveals something useful, and silence does too. - Pew found the most common teen uses were searching for information at 57% and help with schoolwork at 54%. - 16% of teens reported using chatbots for casual conversation. - Barsamian said parents will not find the emotionally sensitive uses by checking a phone. - Barsamian holds a Master of Arts in Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary and is a licensed and commissioned pastor and a Maxwell Leadership Certified Coach. - Barsamian said he is a coach, not a therapist or licensed clinician. - He said parents who suspect self-harm or substance use should seek clinical support first. - Barsamian created The PACE Setter Method™ and hosts the Present Solution Podcast. - Readers can find more information at Present Solution for Parents. - Barsamian also provided social links on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Apple Podcasts.

Between the lines: - The survey data suggests a gap between what teens do and what parents assume they do. - The emotional-support use case is smaller than schoolwork and general information, but it raises the biggest concern because it points to trust and connection inside the home. - Barsamian’s message is that parental control alone may not solve a relationship problem.

What's next: - Parents concerned about AI use may need to ask more direct questions about why a teen prefers a chatbot. - Families that suspect deeper issues such as self-harm or substance use should move beyond parenting strategies and seek professional help. - The wider debate around teen AI use is likely to keep shifting from novelty to mental health, privacy and family dynamics.

The bottom line: - The headline is not that teens use AI. It is that some teens are choosing AI when they want to be heard.